Why Do Have We Go and Make Things So Complicated?

♥ Irah Sayang Mak Hari-hari ♥

2009-07-18T02:17:00.001-07:00

~Otanjoubi Omedeto Okasan~

smoga pnjang umur n murah rezki ^_^

Who should I give my love to?

My respect and my honor to

Who should I pay good mind to?

After Allah

And Rasulullah

Comes your mother

Who next? Your mother

And then your father

Cause who used to hold you

And clean you and clothes you

Who used to feed you?

And always be with you

When you were sick

Stay up all night

Holding you tight

That's right no other

Your mother (My mother)

Who should I take good care of?

Giving all my love

Who should I think most of?

After Allah

And Rasulullah

Comes your mother

Who next? Your mother

And then your father

Cause who used to hear you

Before you could talk

Who used to hold you?

Before you could walk

And when you fell who picked you up

Clean your cut

No one but your mother

My mother

Who should I stay rigt close to?

Listen most to

Never say no to

After Allah

And Rasulullah

Comes your mother

Who next? Your mother

And then your father

Cause who used to hug you

And buy you new clothes

Comb your hair

And blow your nose

And when you cry

Who wiped your tears?

Knows your fears

Who really cares?

My mother

Say Alhamdulillah

Thank you Allah

For My Mother

*i was doubting my good deeds recently

*'doing good thangs' to others while me myself is in need (i need that thang!) had made me a lousy person >doWh!<

*when such deed made me forgot things which i madly, truly, deeply SHOULDN'T!

*niat aku baek..but when things go wrong,, ~~for i'd lost my contact~~

*hate this!
*so bad..blaming no one but me
*gomenne okasan~ honto ni...=/

ketensionan kemelampauan kemelandaan

2009-07-10T07:46:00.000-07:00

aku penat malam nie

rase nk melepak..hover² online

tp x dpt

frust giler!

modem aku

dak tu pakai

buat blog baru kunun

smpi aku pun diabaikn

huwargh! wase ati. sdey aku

tadop org nk wat geng kan? =(

nk wat omwork/study pom adop mood

geez!

but ironically, such feeling is just a total prank!
haha..tipu jer tu

takdew arh aku emo smpi wase ati camtu kot~
malah wase sgt best ley tlg ke arah kemajuan org laen nih..hahaz~
yeah..i'll grow to be ǝɹnʇɐɯɯı, ɥsıplıɥɔ n ʎsnol no more. . .ameen~

*congraz wat cu i atas penubuhan blog baru beliau n blog klas

*congraz gak kat beliau stelah berpenat lelah tackle aku tp last² tau address blog aku ni accidentally! =.= tak ley blah~

*~~congraz~~ gak kat beliau krane tlah link kan aku dgn suksesnyer

*even sbnrnye aku x bg, cuz never had i any idea to publicise this bloggie>>seriously!

*kwan²aku ramy yg da matang da skang~ siap ber'blog'²gitu..err, does it mean to have a blog=matured? erk~

*lolz~ sjak bile lak aku rajin blogging nih? dah2..nk STUDY, STUDY, STUDY n stadoo~

Mampukah. . .

2009-07-05T05:22:00.000-07:00

W(H)ELL COME BACK TO SCHOOL

2009-06-27T06:21:00.000-07:00

over and over..
my pasts reviewed
searching for me
the true me

>>1 point

oh man!! my pointer dropped!!

irah,, u promised me half a year ago remember??!!!

i wanna see a PROGRESSION!!!!
but where the hell is ur eternally flamming ceaseless desire for medicine??!!!
n for ur commitment in study would never be an end???!!
this is so NOT THE IRAH I KNEW!!

and u promised!!!! now how could u betray me???!!!
if only i had a gun, definitely should i ~~shoot u to death~~!!

now how the hell are you applying for ireland?

Sweet~ Mysterious n Speechless

2009-06-02T18:18:00.000-07:00

I thought I only created this blog for me
Privately for me and no one but me
Coz I never yet announce it to anyone officially
Haha..feeling like desperate but what can I say?
Frankly, I'm quite shocked!
I haven't had any person recognising me on blogger and yet, this anonymous came.
Mysterious much!
Haven't known what he/she had done but it's sweet

And got me speechless. . .

Even, I didnt give any reply back (sorry about that) but
The good thing is I received it just on time when I feel like I need it.
Even, I didnt really know what I truely need at that very moment but
It's just simply ever so sweet..thanks, you deserve a compliment

Oh, how I feel like my blog is talking back to me!

Oh, this is so like a dream came true. . .=)

Dear Silantra~

2009-04-21T02:24:00.001-07:00

i felt so obscure . . . =(

Actually. . .

2009-03-20T08:51:00.001-07:00

Without really acknowledging why, I changed my layout. Irksome much perhaps. Nevertheless, I started missing Jigoku Shoujo – a uniquely peculiar previous skin of mine. Geez! The ‘so me’ image was so destructed by myself! Tak ley blah arr aku. (-_-“

Another big perhaps would be for I’m still searching for my true self. Yeah, frankly, I just finished a hospital attachment at HTAA as lately as a couple of days ago. Arguably, talking personally to countless highly professional respectable medical officers, consultants and specialists, you would doubt your medical path you are embarking on presently. One thing I was told, whatever personality you posses, should you never neglect the two vital words: passion and humble.

But the matter is I pathetically figured out that, an acquaintance of mine misjudged my behavior. I was reckoned being secretive and as quiet as a grave and even a bit arrogant yet discovered that I just one who can be talked with. Be humble – I try. Weirdo. It, most of the time, annoys and hurts to make assumption on what others think about us when judging the book by its cover is totally wrong. But people guess unstoppably. Irah, be strong my dear. Even life confuses it has to go on.

Credits goes to Khadijah for sharing me this: =]

FOR WE ALWAYS DESIRE TO HAVE PEACE IN LIFE

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2007..
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. So stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
38. Please Forward this to everyone you care about.

'IF ONE CAN DO IT U TOO CAN DO IT, IF NONE CAN DO IT THEN U MUST DO IT'

Mid Sem 2 Break~*

2009-03-15T07:45:00.000-07:00

hah! nk tulis pe nih? It has been a while since the last time I'm really writing stuffs in my blog. A lot of things to say yet so little words dangling in my irksome brain to express what I have in my mind. I was so like drafting a lot yet never been too close to posting *sigh~ a lot of them of CASs

Sunathon

I'm so dreadfully dead! Bet the first thing had ever struck my mind when I first read the sunathon was to melakukan perkara sunat beramai2. Man, i'm so hoping to top-up my deeds *grin~ Ironically, i misjudged the word. Now try treating it as what you thought on jogathon: berjogging beramai2. Got it? Oh, shoot me guys! Never in my worst nightmare had I ever wish to encounter this!! NOOoooOOO!!! I was to quit but forbidden. It is now or never. Signing up means do or die. DoWh!! (X_x)

apparatus and materials..hehs

posing with da screaming patientgambaran ke'hectic'an di sana

muka budak2 a.k.a patient yg sdang kecuakan
yeah! mandi ujan pili!!

papepun, undoubted that this is the real once in a life time experience. ye lah, imagine once you are an adult female doctor, surely you are so not into such thing aite? ni kecik2 tappe lagi. hehe..pengalaman~

Traditional Performance

Ahah! We the mentees of Teacher Mimi proudly present to you the Tarian Magunatip by the Sabahan Muruts!! Yik? Gosh, bet I haven’t yet copy the clip. =P pardon me. Still I’m so looking forward to posting it. Still, feeling grateful to actually won at least the third place not yet fades. Thanx mentees-mates! Luv ya lotz. =)

Medical Camp de Cameron Highland

This is the other one that money can’t buy. Personally, I think those who assume this effort to help those in need of medication a nerd deed, are highly in a big lost moreover if he/she is a doctor-wannabe. There are about 14 of MCB, a couple from MCS and others are of CUCMS. We were leaded by the Indian-Student-Chapter from the Medical School of Mangalore India and not forgetting our wise respectable mostly honourable Prof Dr Abdul Latiff. He was the one to diagnose unknown disease or health problem had by the patients. No doubt this camp is just simply unique as our target patients are actually the aborigines of Cameron Highland. Guess what, they didn’t live conveniently near the town or even the main road but far stranded up in the woods. Hiking up the hills is just a must in order to reach them. It was so exhausting to barely climb the slopes for about an hour from where we parked our vehicles. Sometimes magic happened that our passion is more determined than our hard works. Treating the natives to help to check for their blood pressure, glucose level, BOD, etc is much treasure. So~ doctor-wannabe-me! ^____^

Hahah, was so snapping mesmerizing pics with da RM25 once a life time camera. kamera pakai buang. I haven’t scanned any of the mesmerizing sceneries yet. Oh, they are with Cu-I! Huu, lupe nk amik. . . (>__<)

A Night in Isketambola

Haha. Another performance competition! It is way based on P Ramlee Musical Dramas. Hoho, we were so into dancing! P Ramlee fever for everybody! Lotta joy we had but haven’t received the copy of the video to post. *spoilt~ (X__x)

BufFDay BasH!!

Irah, dream off! It is your last teen gurl!! I enjoy being celebrated by my dearest classmates. Credits to Acam and class-rep and also Wawa for my second celebration,haha. DowH! I hate growing up. I found the punk-rock image suits me no more. I deadly miss speeding my bike. A universal 5-minutes-walking-to-and-from-school bet to be a culture shock to me. Being a hostelite seems to be my real turning point. But hey, should why I think it is the only me who’s struggling life when the fact that even others do? Maybe I just need to open up the part of me that wants to hide away. Yeah, *sigh~ I’m trying. . .

I’m so sorry for those kind-hearted readers who intended to willingly read my entry but have no idea what was I talking about. Actually they are just my precious pasts which are always been the furthest thing from myself. There are just loads to throw out here yet so little time did I have. Actually I just came back home from tahlil of my beloved allahyarhamah wan there in kT. And was initially planning on a family vacation to PJ, Johor this break (a to-be payback trip to Uncle Rosli – one who never being bored visiting our station). Unfortunately, my hospital attachment was postponed which made me able to join it. Mule2 tak jadi sbb clash ngan tahlil wan tp skang ade chance arr pulak. Ye la, dah kite yg call, yg tulis surat, jumpe cg n gak mintak permission, takkan lpas sume usaha tu last2 takmo buat plak. Guess I have a HA to be attend as early as 8 a.m tomorrow. haha, quite nervous. Yea, time for some rest aite? Wish me all the best for tomorrow. Oyasumi minna-san~

Have a Heart♥

2009-01-03T19:05:00.000-08:00

Hospital Permai is a place to 'permai'kan its patient

this is what i call CAS..tonikaku, i'm speechless~
sebak di hati menyelubungi

hopefully the pictures speak well

our arrival

kami n pegawai2 kat sana

menjatuhkan gelas di ward P11 =P

landscape kat situ lawo2 kot..kalos kmb
a lil' snack n some tea

the patient?? humm, apparently their details are highly confidential
we played together, chatted on whatever, took a look at their crops..
hmmm, , , ~

Semester 1 Holiday Getaway

2009-01-03T05:47:00.000-08:00

hi3..tgk ayah yg syik2 duk mikir sal stesen dye tu, lansum x expect yg kitorang ley spend bit tyme together2 release tensyen, n our hotspot diz tyme :

Sabah da Malaysian Borneo!

arriving at KKIA

haha..stunned! da morning was so fine and bright~
experiencing da creamy fluffy cloud really made me feel like living in da Care Bears Planet!
weehew~

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that evening, we rent two van and headed to Kundasang..i thought we were merely going there for a meal - (barbecued chicken wings~ yummy!!)
but hey, we were obviously viewing da spectacular scene of Mount Kinabalu!

it's spanking!!

eksyen yg blurr

malam tu fulLmooN..sgt la smart rupe gunung nie!!

ria yang anggun

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pagi tu tatau nk g ane..
then kitorang pun rase berangin le nk amik angin kat negeri bawah angin ni..hihi
so, Tanjung Aru selaku tempat dituju..

Ladies of Mesra E4

baju tu, angin tau yg jadi gitu tu..kikiki

hoho..rase2nye apekah reaksi bebudak bile cikgu2 nk anjurkan lawatan ke,, Muzium Negeri??
Borink arr cikgu! So driving me up da dinding! but since kitorang yang tak berapa nk budak mane nyh, agak bez arr beno nyer gi jalang2 Museum Sabah yang sememangnye munasabah dibina di sabah yang munasabah itu! tp, gempak muzium ganu ag kot..hak3

Big Mesra E4 Family

Giant Wakid

Giant Bryde's Whale Fossil

hmm, okeh2..beso gop arh muzium dey 'all sposen..kikiki

bosan2 round situ, meleret arr plak we all to da Filipino Market..sape2 fwen yg dapat souvenir aku tu, 'tembelang' ku pecah di sini..aku beli kat sini je thingy kiut miut tue..kannye wat sendiri pun..kekeke =P

muke kempunan kipas/air-cond =P

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next kitorang pun melencong la ke Jesselton tuk mengisi perut yg berkeroncong

Jesselton Point nih

sempat agy ria posing

Nasi Padang juadah tipikal tgh2 ari

irah nak nasi sparo je chop!

raja n ratu n santapan~

yeah~ bacalah bismillah sblom makan
tips of da day: if tercekik tyme makan, angkat ke dua2 belah tangan agar food swallowed will flow down smoothly --by Adik Aiman (tahfiz Kuantan)

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pssstt~ here's a secret, satu malam tu, mase watashi wa no kasan to toosan g wedding kat Tawau, aku n kak faira da kuar g CP! hik3..Mr X nye pasal la ni..kawen x ajak..aku frust n melayankan diriku ke mall yg ley dikatekan da biggest one kat KK currently

membeli belah tingkap di sini..=D
lekpun puah duk hotel tu..n lekpun parents tadop..kuang3

mase tue, mak n ayah n aunties n uncles pegi wedding ni..

smoga berbahagia Mr X..T__T

kitorang stay kat Hotel Promenade..besh gak..tol2 dpan pantai seh~
evrynite, ade concert kat depan hotel tu! mcm2 gerai bukak..org nege baju la, kanak2 maen playground belon la.. n part yg gempak, Faizal Tahir n Suki ade datang wat show..but da pelik bin hairannye, blum kol 10.30, pesta da reda..org pakat balik blake dos..sunyi jadi..

hihi..i njoyed my stay here ^_^

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da sampai Sabah, tak sah ler kalu tak menapak ke pulau2 Sabah yg tak terpulau mane kerane tidak dipulaukan itu
seperti pelancong biase, we charted a speed boats to:

Pulau Manukan to take a walk..enchanting~

speed-oo boat-oo~~

cantik gak sini..

Isle of Manutik where irah n ria baru mule nk main air..splashing~

and went to Pulau Sapi..snorkelling~

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sbg intihanya, do visit Malaysia n plz support our local products!

be proud! Malaysia mantap!

p/s: sowi if ter'rojak ayam'kan ayat..hu3
juz being da better me~ ^__^

TaDaiMa~~ GuD ByE 1st SeM (^^,/~

2008-12-11T06:05:00.000-08:00

geez~ guess kmbian never knew da term ''holiday''
tgk je lar..tah pape homework aku:

1. Math-correction Final Exam Sem 1; ALL of it n is to be POSTED to puan nila by d end of dec
2. Malay A1-complete reading da 3 WordLit novels-->fine~ except da photocopied of d Okonkwo--sux!
3. Bio-design Practical 5
4. PAI-hafazan surah: Al-Lail - An-Naba'
. . . (homeworks which i own assigned myself)

wut? sem 1 exam? haha..guess i need a post mortem to be done on such things
yet, not now..i got a flight to catch diz morning

err,,datz it for now,,since itz da laz 'Hari Tasyrik', wanna wish a Happy Eid Adha to all~~ ^_^

hari slamat raye yang last~

2008-10-05T22:00:00.002-07:00

First day raye kemaman, bz gler..kne jage post kot~
tp pagi tu je..smentara nunggu cashier log in bz,tp sib baek je adop short mase clos till.. yg best nyer ritu,mase nk bli top up,dpt bonus RM1..
hehe tp da lupe arr aku amik pe wat redeem..
huhu anduwa kate,mase irah tadop dumoh,qasim maghi... pahtu ye tanye sal kek ceklat..huwaa~ org dop stat wat pom ag..sowie..=(
Second day ghaye baru nk wat kot kek tue,tp qasim daa balik daa..
hmm,,tu lar..lambat sgt!
Raye day the third balik kay tee..sbb nk raye umah tok kot~
hehe..yg bestnyer, edie datang!! =D
lagi best, die ske kek choco-licious yg aku wat kat kemaman tu..hee~
edie my bestie~

Tp ade dak tu sowang, ye mai umah aku time aku takde,
n then ye kate nk mai next time..
tp laz2 lansum x nmpk batang idung die kot~ =/
tup2 die call n gtaw:
pg td g umah mak sdare, pahtu open house, ptg g uptown..esk da nk blik hostel..bla3
aiseymen..die tu,,bz gler lak ritu..
hmm,nande mo nai..dulu pun ye da pnah dtg kot~
haih~ adop rezki kot~
org baru igt nk idang kek diz time =P

da nk blik hostel? hmm,have a safe n nice journey ye wak..=)

haha..tgh2 wat assignment mlm tu,tbe2 t'jumpe cte Nobuta wo Produce lam pc!
pergh!! producing a nerd to become popular gurl..
lawak2..layan~~

tah pesal..ske tgk Kusano..^^,
there's a scene in which he resembled me:

aku kononnye merenung kek yang tak termakan ptg tu =j

tadaima!!~*

2008-09-29T02:37:00.000-07:00

alhamdulillah~ 0335am 250908 slamat gak aku sampai umah. ni bermakne,,yay!! cuti raye bermule~ =D hoho,da sparo minggu berrenggang ngan katil E222 Kolej Mara Banting, aku bru teringat kat blog nih,, how pathetic,,to be honest,aku langsum lupe yg aku ade blog! pun tatau pe function of this creature =P

::SaYaP PaLeSTiNe:: ahaa!wasn't it da last post about palestine? heh,guess what? on d last day b4 raya break, during our Perdana Assembly; sayap palestine was yet "banned"! (sort of) y?pn hanirus (mcb pkhe&p) claimed sayap palestine was crossing da line! maybe she thought the guys were promoting the Hari Memperingati Palestine over d limit.. with the: --Palestine flags waving at d blocks --and an sms to pn hanirus on Hari Memperingati Palestine more than our Independence Day rememberance hmm,,maybe yeah..all of those stuff will turn people misunderstood anyway..owh! no further comment..=x

n katey umah yg much more comfort n nicer makes me missing my lackadaisical a lot~!! zZz. . . ;)

kuceink = teddy bear..hehe

a reason for a blog~*

2008-09-20T00:55:00.000-07:00

21st August, Hari Memperingati Palestin ---> what's a big deal 'bout this?
Ever since I joined GNCC of KMB, 21 August is not just a date to me, it is Ulang Tahun ke 38 Pembakaran Masjid Aqsa

GNCC: our Muslim brothers were in danger and we just stay cross-handed..are you calling urself a Muslim then?

wishing to give a hand, here comes a story I found:

:: Kisah Anak Palestin ::

Adik bangun pagi. Adik kesat mata. Walid(ayah dalam bahasa Arab) yang kejut adik. Adik mengantuk sangat. Adik tarik gebar semula. Tidur balik. Walid geleng kepala bila nampak adik tidur balik. Walid tepuk belakang adik suruh adik mandi. Lepas mandi adik pakai baju baru. Ummi kata hari ini Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Semua orang pakai baju baru. Tapi adik tengok ummi pakai baju buruk, walid pun pakai baju buruk. Ummi cuma senyum bila adik mengajukan soalan itu. Ummi kata cukuplah adik seorang pakai baju baru. Walid pimpin tangan adik pergi masjid. Kami jalan kaki melalui denai-denai kecil. Sepanjang jalan adik dengar takbir raya. Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar, La ilaha illallah huallahu akbar, Allahu Akbar wallilla hilham.. Adik khusyuk dengar. Merdu. Adik angkat tangan ke telinga, lagak seperti bilal masjid sambil menjerit takbir raya. Walid cuma ketawa kecil melihat gelagat adik.

Di persimpangan jalan, kami bertemu Pak Cik Nassier jiran adik. Adik pandang walid. Walid ralit berbual dengan Pak Cik Nassier. Adik dengar walid berbual tentang syahid, Yassier Arafat dan lain- lain lagi. Nama negara adik pun walid sebut, Palestin. Tapi adik tidak faham. Adik cuma mendengar. Adik tiba di perkarangan masjid. Masjid itu besar, tersergam indah. Masjid kebanggaan negara adik, Masjidil Aqsa.Walid pernah beritahu adik, Masjidil Aqsa kiblat pertama sebelum Kaabah di Mekah. Masjidil Aqsa juga adalah salah satu tempat suci dalam Islam. Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. pun mengalami peristiwa Israk dan Mikraj di masjid ini. Adik buka kasut dan masuk ke perut masjid. Adik lihat ramai orang. Semuanya duduk dalam saf. Walid tarik adik duduk di penjuru masjid, kemudian walid solat tahiyatul masjid.Adik ikut walid solat raya. Adik berdiri betul- betul dekat dengan walid. Adik pandang walid. Bila walid angkat tahbiratul ihram adik pun angkat. Mulut walid kumat kamit membaca sesuatu. Adik pun ikut sama walaupun adik tak tahu apa yang adik baca. Walid rukuk, adik rukuk. Walid sujud, adik sujud.

Adik membilang anak tangga selepas selesai solat raya dan bersalam-salaman dengan jemaah yang lain. Walid ada di belakang adik. Suasana ketika itu tenang dan damai. Adik suka ketenangan. Adik tarik nafas, hirup dalam-dalam udara pagi.

Tiba-tiba ketenangan itu diragut.

Adik nampak ramai orang bertempiaran lari. Adik juga nampak sekumpulan askar yang memegang senjata sedang mara menuju ke arah masjid. Adik dengar bunyi kuat. Bunyi tembakan. Walid dukung adik erat sambil melaungkan takbir Allahu Akbar. Adik takut. Adik pejam mata. Kaki walid yang kuat berlari tiba-tiba terhenti. Pautan tangan walid longgar dan akhirnya terlerai. Adik rasa seperti sekujur tubuh tumbang dan menghenyak adik. Adik pandang belakang. Mata adik terbeliak. Adik nampak tubuh walid. Kepala walid berdarah. Adik menjerit nama walid. Manik-manik jernih bergentayangan dan gugur satu persatu dari tubir kelopak mata adik.

Walid pandang adik. Walid cium pipi adik. Walid suruh adik lari. Adik geleng kepala. Adik pegang tangan walid. Adik hendak duduk di sisi walid. Walid senyum pada adik. Mulut walid lemah menutur kalimah syahadah. Adik goyang tubuh walid. Walid tidak bergerak. Walid kaku. "Waliiiiiiiiiiiiiiid!!!!!!!" Adik kesat air mata. Adik lari kuat-kuat. Adik lari tidak kalih kiri dan kanan. Sampai di rumah, adik terus menangis. Ummi hairan tengok adik. Adik sebut nama walid berkali-kali. Mayat walid di hantar ke rumah tidak lama selepas itu. Adik masih menangis. Adik tengok ummi cium dahi walid. Ummi peluk adik. Beberapa orang jiran cuba tenangkan ummi. Abang yang duduk di penjuru dinding juga menangis. Abang dah besar. Umur abang enam belas tahun. Abang pergi dekat walid,abang peluk dan cium walid. Selepas sembahyang adik nampak orang angkat walid keluar rumah. Abang pun ikut sama. Adik tidak ikut. Adik duduk rumah dengan ummi.

Adik tanya ummi, mana perginya walid. Ummi diam. Adik tanya lagi sambil menongkat dagu menunggu jawapan daripada mulut ummi. Ummi pandang adik, ummi kata walid pergi ke satu tempat yang sangat cantik. Walid pergi tidak akan kembali lagi. Adik cuma mengangguk." Adik nak ikut walid" Ummi geleng kepala dan peluk adik. Adik lap air mata di pipi ummi. Adik senyum, ummi senyum. Petang itu ramai kawan abang datang. Abang ajak mereka ke belakang rumah. Adik berlari-lari anak ikut abang ke belakang. Abang tekun membuat sesuatu. Sesuatu yang menyerupai senapang. Adik cuma duduk diam dan tengok. Kawan-kawan abang pun khusyuk membuat kerja.

Adik menguap berkali-kali. Boring duduk diam tanpa melakukan sebarang kerja. Tidak keletah adik dibuatnya. Mata adik melilau-lilau mencari barang mainan. Adik nampak benda bulat seperti bola. Adik pergi dekat cuba mencapai benda itu. Adik pegang dan belek. Sedang adik seronok bermain, abang rampas 'bola' adik. Adik masam. Adik tarik muncung empat belas. Adik marah pada abang. Abang tersenyum melihat tingkah laku adik. Dengan lembut abang mencubit pipi montel adik. Abang beritahu adik yang benda itu bom tangan bukannya bola seperti yang disangka adik. Adik diam, kemudian berlari mendapatkan ummi. Merajuk.

Adik bangun awal pagi itu. Tidak seperti hari-hari lain, walid tidak ada untuk kejut adik. Apabila teringat walid,mata adik berkaca. Adik tidak mahu menangis. Adik orang lelaki. Orang lelaki tidak boleh menangis, orang lelaki kena kuat dan tabah. Adik nampak abang sedang bersiap-siap. Abang galas beg besar. Semua benda yang abang buat semalam abang bawa. Benda bulat seperti bola pun abang bawa. Kawan-kawan abang semuanya sedang menungu di depan rumah. Abang cium tangan ummi, minta izin untuk pergi. Ummi peluk abang, cium abang berkali- kali. Adik cuma memandang dengan mata terkebil-kebil. Adik garu kepala yang tidak gatal. Abang datang dekat adik. Abang dukung adik, usap kepala adik. "Adik jaga ummi ya" pesan abang. "Abang nak pergi mana" Tanya adik seperti orang bodoh. "Abang nak pergi berjuang". Abang mengukir senyuman mengakhiri bicara.

Kelibat abang hilang ditelan kabus pagi. Hanya lambaian tangan adik mengiringi pemergian abang. Lepas abang pergi ummi cerita macam-macam perkara pada adik. Pasal Israel, pasal syurga, pasal jihad dan banyak lagi. Semuanya adik tidak faham. "Isra..Israfil. " terkial-kial adik menyebut perkataan itu dalam pelat yang pekat. "Bukan Israfil. Israfilkan nama malaikat. Malaikat yang tiup sangka kala. Israel." Ummi membetulkan sebutan adik. "Is.ra.el" akhirnya adik berjaya menyebutnya juga. Ummi ketawa kecil. Adik ikut ketawa menampakkan sebaris gigi adik yang ronggak. Ummi kata Israel jahat. Israel musuh umat Islam. Israel juga musuh Allah. Israel yang mencetuskan peperangan di bumi Palestin. Israel yang bunuh walid. Adik benci Israel. Adik benci sesiapa yang menjadi musuh Allah.

Adik lari keluar rumah. Adik pergi ke jalan besar. Ramai kanak-kanak sebaya adik di situ. Mereka semua baling batu kepada sekumpulan tentera yang bersenjata di seberang jalan. Adik ingat lagi, tentera itulah yang bunuh walid. Merekalah Israel. Adik marah. Adik geram. Adik capai batu, adik baling kuat-kuat. Adik pejam mata.

Terbayang di kepala adik peristiwa yang menimpa walid. Adik sertai kawan-kawan adik yang lain; membaling batu. Kadang-kadang kami lari apabila tentera itu menyerang balas. Ada juga kawan-kawan adik kena tembak. Tumbang satu persatu. Adik nampak baju mereka merah berlumuran darah. Adik lari menyorok di sebalik bangunan usang untuk menyelamatkan diri. Adik lari bersama seorang kawan adik. Namanya Jamal. Dia juga sama dengan adik. Walidnya juga pergi ke suatu tempat yang sangat cantik dan tidak akan kembali lagi. Apabila keadaan semakin reda, adik pulang ke rumah. Adik berjanji dengan Jamal untuk melontarkan batu lagi pada keesokkan harinya.

Sesampai di rumah adik berasa sangat lapar. Adik cari roti di dapur. Adik buka almari, adik cari dalam almari tapi tidak jumpa. Perut adik mula berbunyi minta diisi. Adik sudah makan roti petang tadi tapi adik masih berasa lapar lagi. Adik nampak ummi pegang roti. Itu sajalah satu-satunya roti yang tinggal di rumah kami. Ummi tidak makan apa-apa lagi sejak pagi tadi. Adik pergi dekat ummi. Ummi yang baru menyuapkan roti ke mulutnya tersentak. Ummi keluarkan semula roti dari mulutnya dan suapkan ke mulut adik. Adik kunyah dengan gelojoh. " Ummi, Kenapa kita hidup susah?" adik tanya pada ummi dengan mulut dipenuhi roti. Ummi pangku adik di ribanya. Ummi mengelus lembut rambut adik. "Kita kena sabar sebab sabar itu cantik" ujar ummi perlahan. "Cantik macam syurga ke ummi?" adik tanya lagi. Ummi senyum. "Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. pun hidup susah juga. Baginda dilontar batu ketika menyebarkan dakwah di Taif. Malahan kaum Quraisy ramai yang ingin bunuh nabi. Nabi sabar, nabi tak cepat putus asa" sambung ummi lagi. Adik dengar dengan khusyuk. Adik nak jadi baik macam Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. Nama adik pun Muhammad. Walid yang cadangkan nama itu. Walid hendak adik tabah dan cekal macam Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. Malam itu adik duduk bersila depan ummi sambil tangan memegang Al-Quran. Adik ikat serban sendiri. Adik lilit serban ikut suka hati adik. Sekejap adik lilit ke kiri, sekejap ke kanan. Kadang- kadang serban itu tutup mata adik. Adik kuak sedikit kain serban ke atas ketika hendak membaca Al- Quran. "Bismillahirrahmani r rahim.." Adik baca Al-Quran dengan bersungguh- sungguh. Adik baca kitab Allah itu dengan tekun. Ummi duduk depan adik sambil memerhati bacaan adik. Adik hendak jadi macam abang. Umur enam tahun sudah khatam Al-Quran. Adik baru umur tiga tahun. Adik kena baca Quran dengan rajin kalau hendak khatam Al-Quran cepat macam abang. Adik ingat pesanan ummi. Ummi kata Al-Quranlah satu-satunya harta yang paling berharga. Adik ingin baca Al-Quran hari-hari. Adik tidak mahu ponteng baca Al-Quran. Bacaan adik terhenti apabila pintu diketuk dan nama ummi dilaung-laungkan dari luar.

" Syukur ya Huda, anakmu Yassin mati syahid" muncul Mak Cik Fatima di depan rumah.

"Anakmu, anakmu adalah salah seorang pengebom berani mati ya Huda. Tindakannya menyebabkan tujuh orang askar Israel laknatullah terbunuh. Yassin dan tiga orang lagi pejuang Hizbullah mati syahid. Semoga syurga menanti mereka kelak" terang Mak Cik Fatima panjang lebar. Ummi panjatkan doa pada Allah semoga roh abang ditempatkan dalam golongan orang-orang yang beriman. Adik kaget. Nama Israfil. Bukan. .Israel disebut lagi. Adik benci mendengar nama itu. Kemarahan adik meluap-luap. Ummi beritahu adik abang telah pergi ikut walid. Ummi kata ummi bangga mempunyai anak seperti abang. Adik masuk tidur awal. Adik mimpi satu tempat yang sangat cantik. Adik nampak walid dan abang di sana. Walid dan abang senyum pada adik. Adik cuba kejar mereka tapi semakin adik kejar semakin mereka menghilang. Keesokkan harinya, adik tunggu Jamal di tepi jalan seperti yang dijanjikan. Lima minit berlalu Jamal tidak muncul-muncul juga. Hampir setengah jam adik tunggu tapi Jamal tetap tidak muncul. Adik tidak suka orang yang mungkir pada janji. Adik ingat lagi, salah satu ciri orang munafik ialah mungkir apabila berjanji. Adik tidak mahu jadi munafik. Adik tanya kawan-kawan adik yang lain.

Rupa-rupanya Jamal juga seperti walid dan abang. Jamal pergi ke satu tempat yang cantik. Tempat yang adik tidak tahu di mana letaknya. Semua orang yang adik sayang pergi ke tempat itu. Mula-mula walid, kemudian abang dan akhirnya Jamal. Adik pulang ke rumah awal. Adik terkejut. Terkesima sebentar. Rumah adik dikepung askar Israel. Mereka memang sedang mencari keluarga adik ekoran tindakan berani mati abang mengebom kubu Israel. Tubuh adik yang kecil memudahkan adik menyusup masuk ke dalam rumah. Adik nampak ummi terpelosok di satu sudut.

Adik lihat dengan mata adik sendiri, tentera itu tendang ummi. Mereka sepak dan terajang ummi. Tapi ummi masih bersabar. Ummi tidak putus- putus menyebut satu kalimah keramat..Ahad. .Ahad. Mata adik merah. Adik menahan marah. Adik tidak suka orang pukul ummi. Adik sayang ummi. Adik benci Israel. Seorang tentera Israel mengacukan pistol ke arah ummi. Ummi dengan tenang menghadapinya. Tiada pun segaris garisan gusar terpancar diwajah ummi. Ketika peluru dilepaskan, tiba- tiba... .. " Muhammad!!! ! !!!" Ummi menjerit sambil memegang tubuh adik.

Badan adik berlumuran darah. Pekat dan merah. Adik raba perut adik. Adik rasa sakit. Sakit yang mencucuk-cucuk. Seketika tadi adik telah korbankan tubuhnya untuk melindungi ummi. Natijahnya peluru itu merobek perut adik yang tidak berdosa. Ummi peluk adik. Ummi menangis semahu-mahunya. Adik cuba senyum pada ummi walaupun perit. "Ummi.adik rasa mengantuk, adik nak tidur. Adik nak jadi mujahid,adik nak ikut walid dan abang" terketar-ketar suara adik kedengaran di cuping telinga ummi. Ummi angguk, berusaha sedaya upaya untuk menahan air mata daripada jatuh bercucuran. Adik pejam mata. Adik nampak walid, abang dan Jamal melambai-lambai ke arah adik.

adapted from: www.iluvislam.com and www.palestinkini.info

wallahualam~